I wrote most
of the in-game text for both console and PSP versions. All work was completed
in three weeks, and included:
SIMS 2 Pets:
Sims 2 Pets
featured 10 career tracks, each with 10 separate jobs for the player to advance
through. The following is a sample of these job descriptions, which were
subjected to a 40-60 word limit:
Dressing and posing life-size dolls has always been
a nightmare of yours. It's called Pediophobia, and
it's nothing to be ashamed of - in fact, you should be proud. Mannequins are
indeed quite scary, and you're wise to have a healthy fear of them.
When you first decided to enter the medical field,
it was to heal people and give comfort to the sick. But thanks to your flair
for bureaucracy and politicking, you've climbed the ranks to Chief of Staff and
no longer have to deal with all that hands-on medical stuff. Congratulations!
You have wrapped yourself inside an executive
cocoon, only to now emerge as a beautiful senior manager, eager to spread its
wings and fly. Or at least that's what that weird hippie woman told you at the
last corporate retreat.
Academy movies are any indication, your time as a law enforcement cadet is
going to be one barely hilarious romp after another. Pranks ripe with innuendo,
and tender acts of hazing, are just a few of the delightful hijinks
that await you.
Conventional wisdom suggests that one person's
garbage is another person's treasure. If that were true, you'd be stinking
rich, instead of just stinking. But it's a good stink, an honest stink - born
from countless hours of backbreaking blue-collar labor. Long live the modern
Roofers are the rock stars of the construction game.
Maybe it's their confident swagger, or their wanton disregard for the dangers
of traversing tall structures. Whatever it is, you got it now, so don't be
surprised if you're greeted every morning by hordes of on-site roofer groupies.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. And those
who can't teach, think of you as a colleague. Sure the
pay might be low, and the work is mostly thankless, but that new pinball
machine with the "free play" button in the teacher's lounge makes it all
SIMS 2 Pets:
I named and
wrote brief bios for several AI characters that players randomly encounter
throughout the game. The following is a sample of these biographies, which were
subjected to a 30-40 word limit:
A professional corn popper by day, Huck's real dream
to is to build the world's first trans-continental roller coaster. He has it
all spec'd out and is currently looking for
Known and loved by local wrestling fans as The
Velvet Cheek, Claire also works in the fast paced world of small business
accounting, where she grapples with audit reports and pins budget loopholes to
After a ruptured pyloric valve forced Wanda into
early retirement from competitive eating, she founded the world's first training
cafeteria. Now she coaches aspiring youngsters on how to feast their way to
fame and glory.
Flip made a fortune with his "Better Living
through Condiments" series of TV specials, but then lost it all with a single
toss of the dice. Some might call that crazy, but others know that's just how Flip rolls.
Like her husband Flip, Kiki
Calhoun went from rags to riches, and then back to rags again. But that's okay
with Kiki. She always preferred rags anyway, mostly
for their absorbing qualities and rugged versatility.
Back in the day, Whistle ruled the neighborhood with
an iron paw. He enjoyed the spoils of tyranny for years, until his secret Ivy
League past was revealed and he lost all street cred.
Now he's back, determined to show the world this kitty still has claws.
SIMS 2 Pets:
I named and
wrote catalogue-style descriptions for over 100 in-game objects. The following
is a small sample of these descriptions, which were subjected to a 40-60 word
The 2Player Sofa is designed to host two gamers
simultaneously, while providing an empty middle cushion, or "safety zone" to
reduce accidental physical contact. In addition, the upholstery is specially
treated to thwart stains brought on by snack residue and palm sweat.
Couch for Men
As couches go, few are manlier than Big Ernie's
Couch for Men. It exudes machismo through each double stitch and rough-hewn
wooden plank. Given the high testosterone levels required to manhandle this
couch, Big Ernie generously offers a no-questions-asked return policy.
Introducing the Sit-A-Spell
- the first piece of cowboy-proof furnishing to ever hit the market. What makes it cowboy proof?
Barbeque stain-resistant upholstery for starters. It's
also impervious to boot spurs and trail dust. A chair like that just might make
even the orneriest cowboy want to Sit-A-Spell.
The best loveseats strike a delicate balance between
the love and the seat. Too much of either, and the whole piece is useless (see:
Lustseat, 1976). Thankfully, the Eternal Loveseat
treads that line with style and grace, bringing just enough love to each of its
Slim's Picket Fences
Nothing says tradition like the iconic white picket
fence. It immediately conjures up Rockwellian images
of garden gnomes, lemonade stands, and for those over 80 years old, carefree
games of hoop and stick.