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Interior, the living room. Dorothy is tending to some potted plants in the
back part of the living room. Enter Sophia through the front door. She’s wearing a gray
trenchcoat.
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Dorothy |
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Oh, hi ma. How was bingo?
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Sophia turns to face Dorothy, and with her back to the audience, she opens
the trenchcoat and flashes her daughter.
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Sophia |
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Judge for yourself.
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Dorothy |
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Ma, you don’t have any clothes on!
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Sophia |
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Tell me about it. I just walked 10 blocks. I got a
bellybutton full of tweed.
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Dorothy |
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Well what the hell happened?
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Sophia sits down on the couch and Dorothy joins her.
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Sophia |
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In the middle of bingo, Maury Heseltein sits down. He’s the big practical joker at the center.
Believe me, Howie Mandel is funnier. Anyway, he tells me to sniff his carnation for good luck.
I take one whiff and bingo...
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Dorothy |
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Ah, he squirted your dress with ink.
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Sophia |
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Actually it was Del Monte Prune Juice. It's free at the center. It's a come on.
They make their real money on the padded toilet seat rentals.
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Dorothy |
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So what happened to your clothes?
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Sophia |
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Maury took them to have them cleaned. Dorothy I still can't believe it happened.
I've never been so humiliated.
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Dorothy |
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Ma, honey there's no reason for you to be embarrassed.
He plays tricks on everybody.
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Sophia |
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I'm talking about on my way home. My belt came loose in front
of a construction site. Nobody whistled and two guys went home sick.
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Enter Rose from the bedroom hallway.
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Rose |
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Sophia, what are you doing with that heavy coat on inside the house?
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Sophia gets up and faces her. She once again puts her back to the audience and opens the
trenchcoat thus flashing Rose.
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Sophia leaves through the bedroom hallway.
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Rose |
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Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now or does her dress really
need ironing?
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Dorothy is stunned by Rose's comment and her face shows it. Blanche and
Laszlo enter through the front door.
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Blanche |
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Oh hello girls. Dorothy, Rose, you all remember Laszlo?
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Dorothy and Rose stand up.
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Rose |
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Of course. Laszlo, the artist from your museum. Oh we really
enjoyed your lecture on modern sculpture.
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Laszlo |
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I didn't think anyone was paying attention.
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Rose |
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We sure were, especially Dorothy. She even talked about
taking up sculpting.
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Rose |
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Yes you did. You said you'd like to help him mold his clay or
buff his marble anytime.
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Dorothy |
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Rose you're such a kidder.
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Dorothy grabs Rose's hand so hard, it causes Rose to drop to her knees.
She gradually stands back up. Laszlo sits down in a recliner while Blanche,
Dorothy and Rose squeeze together on the couch.
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Blanche |
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He is gorgeous isn't he girls? There's not a woman at
the museum who hasn't been after him from the day he arrived.
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Laszlo |
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Oh, women can be so silly. They think because you are an
artist you must also be a great lover.
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He laughs as do the girls.
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They think because you are a master in the studio,
you must also be a master in the bedroom.
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He laughs again and louder. So do the girls
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They think because you can work a piece of clay into a piece of
beautiful art, you can also work a woman's body into fits of ecstasy
and passion and total screaming abandon.
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He laughs again but this time the girls are too turned on to laugh.
Finally Blanche gets up.
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Blanche |
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Would anybody else like something cold to drink?
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Dorothy and Rose |
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I would.
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Laszlo |
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Blanche, I really should be going you know.
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Blanche |
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Oh all right Laszlo. Thank you again for the ride home.
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Laszlo |
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It was my pleasure. Goodbye Blanche.
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He kisses Blanch's hand then turns to Dorothy.
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He kisses Dorothy's hand and walks to Rose. While this is happening,
Blanche sneaks behind the two girls, putting herself in line for another kiss goodbye after Rose.
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He kisses Rose's hand and indulges Blanche by turning to her and
granting her another romantic hand kiss goodbye.
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Goodbye Blanche again. It's been my pleasure ladies, goodbye.
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He then walks toward the front door. Blanche follows him and
opens the door.
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Blanche |
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Laszlo, I'll see you tomorrow.
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He walks out the door, she closes it and turns around smiling.
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Dorothy |
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That sure sounded as if you and Laszlo have something going.
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Rose |
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You're not telling us?
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Blanche walks towards to couch and sits down next to
Dorothy and Rose.
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Blanche |
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Oh all right, all right, you twisted my arm. Girls, Laszlo has asked
me to pose for one of his sculptures.
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She pulls a key from her bosom.
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Look here, he gave me the key to his building.
I have my first session with him tomorrow morning.
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Blanche |
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Well he says he's always wanted to do a piece on the mature women and
he thinks I'm just perfect for it.
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Blanche gets up and walks behind the couch toward the bedroom hall.
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And the best part is, he's going to have it displayed at his big show at the museum.
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Rose |
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Blanche, I can't believe you're actually going through with this.
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Blanche |
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Well of course I am Rose. Laszlo is a world famous sculpture.
This is my opportunity to be immortalized forever in a classic
work of art.
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Blanche turns and exits down the bedroom hallway.
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Dorothy |
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That's exactly what she said when that shoe salesman took Polaroids of her in
the back seat of his Volare.
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Off Rose's uncomfortable expression, fade to exterior
of house.
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