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SCENE 1

Interior, the living room. Dorothy is tending to some potted plants in the back part of the living room. Enter Sophia through the front door. Shes wearing a gray trenchcoat.

Dorothy
Oh, hi ma. How was bingo?

Sophia turns to face Dorothy, and with her back to the audience, she opens the trenchcoat and flashes her daughter.

credits

Sophia
Judge for yourself.

Dorothy
Ma, you dont have any clothes on!

Sophia
Tell me about it. I just walked 10 blocks. I got a bellybutton full of tweed.

Dorothy
Well what the hell happened?

Sophia sits down on the couch and Dorothy joins her.

Sophia
In the middle of bingo, Maury Heseltein sits down. Hes the big practical joker at the center. Believe me, Howie Mandel is funnier. Anyway, he tells me to sniff his carnation for good luck. I take one whiff and bingo...

Dorothy
Ah, he squirted your dress with ink.

Sophia
Actually it was Del Monte Prune Juice. It's free at the center. It's a come on. They make their real money on the padded toilet seat rentals.
Sophia Flashes Dorothy

Dorothy
So what happened to your clothes?

Sophia
Maury took them to have them cleaned. Dorothy I still can't believe it happened. I've never been so humiliated.

Dorothy
Ma, honey there's no reason for you to be embarrassed. He plays tricks on everybody.

Sophia
I'm talking about on my way home. My belt came loose in front of a construction site. Nobody whistled and two guys went home sick.

Enter Rose from the bedroom hallway.

Rose
Hi girls.

Dorothy
Oh, hi Rose.

Rose
Sophia, what are you doing with that heavy coat on inside the house?
Dorothy and Sophia on the couch

Sophia gets up and faces her. She once again puts her back to the audience and opens the trenchcoat thus flashing Rose.

Sophia
You tell me Rose.

Sophia leaves through the bedroom hallway.

Dorothy
MA!

Rose
Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now or does her dress really need ironing?

Dorothy is stunned by Rose's comment and her face shows it. Blanche and Laszlo enter through the front door.

Blanche
Oh hello girls. Dorothy, Rose, you all remember Laszlo?

Dorothy and Rose stand up.

Rose
Of course. Laszlo, the artist from your museum. Oh we really enjoyed your lecture on modern sculpture.
Sophia Flashes Rose

Laszlo
I didn't think anyone was paying attention.

Rose
We sure were, especially Dorothy. She even talked about taking up sculpting.

Laszlo
Really Dorothy?

Dorothy
No I didn't...

Rose
Yes you did. You said you'd like to help him mold his clay or buff his marble anytime.
Laszlo

Dorothy
Rose you're such a kidder.

Dorothy grabs Rose's hand so hard, it causes Rose to drop to her knees. She gradually stands back up. Laszlo sits down in a recliner while Blanche, Dorothy and Rose squeeze together on the couch.

Blanche
He is gorgeous isn't he girls? There's not a woman at the museum who hasn't been after him from the day he arrived.

Laszlo
Oh, women can be so silly. They think because you are an artist you must also be a great lover.
Dorothy Squeezes Rose's Hand

He laughs as do the girls.

They think because you are a master in the studio, you must also be a master in the bedroom.

He laughs again and louder. So do the girls

They think because you can work a piece of clay into a piece of beautiful art, you can also work a woman's body into fits of ecstasy and passion and total screaming abandon.
Laughing Laszlo

He laughs again but this time the girls are too turned on to laugh. Finally Blanche gets up.

Blanche
Would anybody else like something cold to drink?

Dorothy and Rose
I would.

Laszlo
Blanche, I really should be going you know.

Blanche
Oh all right Laszlo. Thank you again for the ride home.
Turned On Girls

Laszlo
It was my pleasure. Goodbye Blanche.

He kisses Blanch's hand then turns to Dorothy.

Goodbye Dorothy.

He kisses Dorothy's hand and walks to Rose. While this is happening, Blanche sneaks behind the two girls, putting herself in line for another kiss goodbye after Rose.

Goodbye Rose.

He kisses Rose's hand and indulges Blanche by turning to her and granting her another romantic hand kiss goodbye.

Goodbye Blanche again. It's been my pleasure ladies, goodbye.

He then walks toward the front door. Blanche follows him and opens the door.

Blanche
Laszlo, I'll see you tomorrow.

Laszlo
Indeed.
Laszlo Kisses Goodbye

He walks out the door, she closes it and turns around smiling.

Dorothy
That sure sounded as if you and Laszlo have something going.

Blanche
Maybe.

Rose
You're not telling us?

Blanche walks towards to couch and sits down next to Dorothy and Rose.

Blanche
Oh all right, all right, you twisted my arm. Girls, Laszlo has asked me to pose for one of his sculptures.

Dorothy
You're kidding?

Blanche
No, I'm not.
Blanche By The Door

She pulls a key from her bosom.

Look here, he gave me the key to his building. I have my first session with him tomorrow morning.

Dorothy and Rose
Wow!

Blanche
Well he says he's always wanted to do a piece on the mature women and he thinks I'm just perfect for it.

Blanche gets up and walks behind the couch toward the bedroom hall.

And the best part is, he's going to have it displayed at his big show at the museum.

Rose
Blanche, I can't believe you're actually going through with this.
Blanche Pulls The Key From Her Bosom

Blanche
Well of course I am Rose. Laszlo is a world famous sculpture. This is my opportunity to be immortalized forever in a classic work of art.

Blanche turns and exits down the bedroom hallway.

Dorothy
That's exactly what she said when that shoe salesman took Polaroids of her in the back seat of his Volare.

Off Rose's uncomfortable expression, fade to exterior of house.
Rose Looks Confused


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